Marmalade Cafe - Whiteladies Road, Redland... and a poem about my hatred for brunch

Marmalade Cafe - 3 Worrall Road, BS8 2UF

Who abolished breakfast?

Who liquidated lunch?

How do I find,

the dirty swine,

who bulldozed in with brunch?

Yes, that's right. We have reached 'peak brunch'.

After the novelty has waned, who actually enjoys bottomless prosecco and the resultant aching arms from two hours spent with your hand in the air screeching for more booze? 

The British brunch these days isn't 'authentic' unless you're served a lanky streak of p***-poor American style bacon, pathetically placed atop crushed avocado and cold sour dough toast. I guess Instagram doesn't care if your food is lukewarm.

There is a new breed of these cafes and pretentious coffee shops seemingly unable to serve sausages, white bread or fried tomatoes. Perhaps the proprietors think that to do so may invite unsavoury characters, such as people who eat sugar.....

But do not fret dear reader, I have found an establishment that will still be reigning supreme years after the latest social media fads have passed. That is not to say that this cafe are not keeping it current, far from it. But you'll find no brunch or alcohol listed on their menu. Unpretentious, with great service and a wide menu, ranging from a full-works breakfast (including sausages and a choice of white toast) to great lunch dishes such as fishcakes. The cafe also serve great coffees, cakes, sandwiches and the most variety of San Pellegrino flavours I've ever seen (lemon is still the best though. I tried a pomegranate and regretted it).

On my first visit to the Marmalade cafe, I was warmly greeted by the staff and sat down on a large table with my companion where Doris the dog came to say hi.

"Woof." (Doris the Dog, 2017)

The chef introduced himself and sat at our table whilst we procrastinated over our order. His humour was very Jack Dee in style - we cooed over Doris and had a good laugh. It was pretty cool to speak to the Chef. 

My veggie breakfast, complete with thick white well-buttered toast, bubble and squeak, thyme tomatoes, eggs, beans and mushrooms, was an absolute treat. The eggs were cooked perfectly, crispy on the bottom and the yolk all gooey on top. My companion's buckwheat pancakes with eggs, bacon and maple syrup was brilliant. The smokiness of the bacon and the buckwheat flour meant that the dish wasn't overpowered by the maple syrup like I had feared.

Marmalade was so good that I returned in order to a) take photos for this blog and b) show a friend what she was missing in the Big Smoke. We arrived at 1100 on a Saturday morning and the place was rammed to the rafters! My mate pleaded with the waiter that she had travelled all the way to Bristol on my promise of a great meal, and we politely asked if we could come back for a table when it was free, and I left my phone number.

Lo and behold, after a 15 minute wait, we had a table! I went for the chilli potatoes this time, served with chorizo, cheese and egg. The small pieces of red chilli throughout the mix really blew away the cobwebs. I really enjoyed it but I have to say the bubble and squeak in the veggie breakfast meant that was my favourite meal of the two.

My buddy ordered the chicken quesadilla, she was so hungover that she had to take away half in a takeaway box... but the staff were fine with her self-inflicted issues. My comrade from the last visit ordered the pancakes again... and for good reason. The pancakes are banging. I'm upset with myself that I didn't remember to try the quesadilla. But I'm happy that we saw the Chef again, he was making some jokes with another table.

Left to right: Buckwheat pancakes with eggs, bacon and a side of toast, my chilli potatoes with chorizo, cheese and egg and a side of toast, a lonely side of bubble and squeak, chicken quesadillas.

When we went to pay, the waitress went out of her way to split the bill for us (I think perhaps her and the Chef are the owners as they put so much love into everything). Even though she was busy she was really friendly and patient.

So long live breakfast! 
Love live lunch! 
I'm afraid your brunch..
...
Just got crunched.

The Marmalade Cafe gets an 11/10.

Fenn

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PS: You can check out Marmalade Cafe on twitter at: @WeAreOrange_ 

PPS: Please leave recommendations for places to eat in Bristol in the comments box, it would be great to hear from you.

PPPS: Welcome to Greedy in Bristol :)